A Soft Answer

You can often tell how a quarrel is going to end from the first thing somebody says back. Proverbs 15 knows that. It comes back to the way we speak again and again in this chapter, so its famous first line is best read with the rest of the list.

"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." The Hebrew word for soft means tender. It is the word used for a calf that is "tender and good," and for children too young to be driven hard. The other half is blunter than it sounds in English. Grievous comes from a word for pain, and it describes words that hurt the moment they land.

The chapter keeps adding to the list. "A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit." A breach is a break in a wall, and a twisted tongue can break something inside a person that is slow to mend.

The line that stops most readers comes further down, because it shows that a soft answer is not an easy one: "The heart of the righteous studieth to answer." To study here means to think something over and turn it in your mind. So the soft answer of verse one has been prepared. Somebody thought about this conversation before they walked into the room.

The chapter is honest about the cost as well. "A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife." That leaves the work of peace with whoever is slower to anger, whether that seems fair or not. Then comes the warmest line in the list: "a word spoken in due season, how good is it!"

So think of the next time that particular person says that particular thing. You have an answer ready, because you have rehearsed it more than once. Is it the tender one, or the one that hurts? The same chapter says the Lord "heareth the prayer of the righteous," so ask Him for the soft word before the conversation starts, and He will help you prepare it.

Daily Manna runs on a two-year cycle. The year one reading for day 196 is Joy as Strength (Nehemiah 8:10).

All 365 readings in Daily Manna, Year Two